#2: SPUD

Oh gosh what to rant about... uh... okay well let's just go with book 2 since I'm in the middle of one right now...

SPUD is a hilarious young adult novel by a South African white man named John Van de Ruit. The book is written as a diary, which Spud narrates. It takes place in 1990, right along the time that Nelson Mandela was released from prison, and it's about a boy named John Milton who goes to boarding school in South Africa. John is nicknamed 'Spud' because his balls haven't dropped yet, and so far, his roommates and teachers are downright awesome.

The seven other boys who share Spud's dorm with him are: Vern, the deranged boy who pulls out clumps of his hair and talks to inanimate objects, Mad Dog who shoots things with his catapult, Gecko who needs to throw up every time anything mildly disgusting happens, Rambo the so-called leader, Simon who has railway braces, Fatty whose name speaks for itself, and Boggo who is "a greasy-looking boy with big teeth and a bad case of pimples" (Van de Ruit, p.10).

The following is a description of Vern:

"I'm sleeping next to a deranged individual called Vern Blackadder, who looks slightly brain damaged. He also has the nasty habit of pulling out large clumps of his own hair with a loud thunk.

"I lie in bed listening to assorted snores and mutterings, the odd thunk of Vern's hair being ripped out, and the never-ending trickle of Pissing Pete (the concrete statue of St. Peter), who stands proudly in the fish pond in the quadrangle with water dribbling out of his sword." ~ Van de Ruit, pg. 7

Vern is a very peculiar individual indeed. He later befriends a Siamese named Roger, who is cared for by Sparerib, nickname for Mr. Wilson, the Housemaster. Mr. Wilson has his own seven commandments, which are as follows:

"He announced his seven commandments with a flourish of his cane:
1. Thou shalt not disobey those in authority.
2. Thou shalt not behave in a depraved fashion.
3. Thou shalt not tease my cat. (This is apparently a Siamese called Roger.)
4. Thou shalt not waste toilet paper
5. Thou shalt not play with yourself (or others) after lights-out
6. Thou shalt not go night swimming.
7. Thou shalt not play darts (a bit strange considering the lack of a dartboard)." ~ Van de Ruit, pg. 10"

I am pretty much in love with this novel by now, and according to the jacket, it says there is a sequel. I am oh so intrigued.

As a side note, Spud's grandmother's name is Wombat.